Effective corporate communication often relies on unspoken rules and implicit social cues that can create significant barriers for neurodivergent people. This article decodes these hidden norms, providing a clear and practical guide to making workplace interactions more inclusive. I translated implicit expectations into explicit communication rules, offering actionable strategies for managers and colleagues to support neurodivergent talent. Learn how to foster a psychologically safe environment, reduce miscommunication, and unlock the full potential of your entire team by adopting a truly inclusive language framework. This is an essential read for anyone committed to DEI and improvingworkplace communication for all.
Effective corporate communication often relies on unspoken rules and implicit social cues that can create significant barriers for neurodivergent people. This article decodes these hidden norms, providing a clear and practical guide to making workplace interactions more inclusive. We translate implicit expectations into explicit communication rules, offering actionable strategies for managers and colleagues to support neurodivergent talent. Learn how to foster a psychologically safe environment, reduce miscommunication, and unlock the full potential of your entire team by adopting a truly inclusive language framework. This is an essential read for anyone committed to DEI and improving workplace communication for all.
As a neurodivergent person, this is something that, especially when I was young, I found difficult to understand and respect: the rules that everyone is supposed to know but that no one ever explains exactly. One cause of misunderstanding that sometimes led to real arguments was the fact that I didn’t know the rules of living with roommates. No one had ever told me not to touch, let alone use, other people’s things. Having always lived with my family until I was 26 (then I had experiences of living with others in the facilities I attended as an intern in both Italy and the United States in the 1990s), I took it for granted that everything was available to everyone. I saw nothing wrong with using other people’s towels (now, in middle age, I would never do that, even for hygiene reasons, which I didn’t consider at the time. I know, “yuck”) or opening the refrigerator and helping myself to whatever was inside. In the US, I really went too far. One of my roommates (whose name I unfortunately don’t remember) was going to be away for the whole summer, but he left all his stuff in his room and his car parked outside, asking us to start it up every now and then so the battery wouldn’t die. It was an old wreck that he had paid very little for; bear in mind that he was a student at the time. When he left, I thought there was no harm in taking his TV and VCR to my room and watching all his science fiction videotapes (it was 1999, my third year in the US). I accidentally ruined the empty case of one of them by sitting on it. But the worst thing was that I started using his car because, in the long run, always riding a bike, even for long distances, wasn’t always very pleasant. And that’s not all: the last time I took it, it broke down and never started again. Luckily, I was very close to home and a kind gentleman, seeing me in difficulty, helped me push it into the driveway. Obviously, I didn’t tell the owner or the other roommates that I was responsible for the death of the old car, but I let them believe that the battery had died because I hadn’t used it, because, oops, I had forgotten to start it up every now and then as recommended. In hindsight, I realized that this was really wrong of me. So, dude, if you ever read this and recognize yourself, know that I was the one who broke the Star Wars box and that I used your poor car until its last breath, which happened on the street in front of the house. I humbly apologize. I know that being neurodivergent is not a good reason to destroy other people’s property.
Based on these experiences (and many others, obviously also in the professional field), I have drawn up a small handbook of rules that must be clear to everyone (neurotypical and neurodivergent) in the workplace. In my opinion, it would be a good idea to print them out and post them in every single place (or at least ensure that everyone receives them), just so that nothing is taken for granted.
The importance of explicit and clear rules
As I said, many neurodivergent people, especially young people, may not understand the implicit rules in a social environment, but especially in a work context. It is therefore important never to take anything for granted and to provide written lists of rules so that everyone is clear from the outset about what is expected and what behaviors are unacceptable. The following are sample lists that I believe would be good to post in every specific workplace environment: they will certainly benefit everyone, not just neurodivergent staff.
- In the office (desk and common areas)
The office is the main space where you interact with colleagues.
Noise management:
- Keep your voice at a moderate level during conversations.
- Use headphones if you listen to music, podcasts, or watch videos.
- Set your phone to silent or vibrate mode. If you need to make a personal phone call, move to a designated area or a secluded place.
- Avoid talking on speakerphone at your desk.
Smells and food:
- Avoid eating foods with strong, lingering odors (e.g., fish, curry, broccoli, garlic) at your desk. Use the cafeteria or break room instead.
- Do not use strong perfumes or aftershave, as they can bother colleagues with allergies or sensitivities.
Tidiness and cleanliness:
- Keep your desk tidy. A messy workstation can give an impression of unprofessionalism.
- Clean up immediately if you soil common areas (e.g., if you spill coffee).
Respect for privacy and concentration:
- Do not interrupt a colleague who is clearly concentrating, unless it is urgent. Use chat or email.
- Do not peek at other people’s computer screens.
- Always knock before entering an office with the door closed.
- In the canteen
The canteen is a place for socializing, but the rules of good manners still apply.
Respect the queue: do not push in front of others and wait patiently for your turn.
Hygiene and cleanliness: after eating, clear and clean your table, placing your tray, plates, and waste in the appropriate places.
Table manners: chew with your mouth closed, do not talk with your mouth full, and use your cutlery correctly.
Noise: avoid loud conversations that may disturb other tables.
Use of the telephone: limit phone calls and, if necessary, make them discreetly and briefly.
- In the break room/break area
This space belongs to everyone, so the golden rule is: “Leave things as you found them, or better.”
Cleanliness: if you use the microwave, clean up any splatters. If you use the sink, do not leave food residue. Wash your cup or utensils.
Supplies: if you finish the coffee, make a new pot. If you finish the water in the dispenser, replace the bottle. If you run out of paper or soap, report it to the appropriate person.
Shared refrigerator:
- Never take food or drinks that are not yours.
- Label your containers if necessary.
- Periodically check and throw away your expired food to avoid bad smells.
- In the bathrooms
This is perhaps the environment that requires the most attention and respect for others.
Absolute hygiene: the fundamental rule is to leave the bathroom as clean as you would like to find it. Use the toilet brush if necessary.
Cleanliness: do not leave water on the sink or paper on the floor. Throw paper towels in the trash.
Privacy: do not start conversations with people in a stall. Avoid long personal phone calls.
Time: do not occupy the bathroom for an excessive amount of time, especially if there are few stalls available.
- In the locker rooms
Similar to bathrooms, they require great respect for privacy and hygiene.
Discretion: be discreet and respect the privacy of others. Avoid staring at people.
Order: do not leave your personal belongings scattered everywhere. Use your locker and keep it tidy.
Hygiene: do not leave wet towels or dirty clothes lying around.
- In the parking lot
Here too, the rules of the Highway Code and common sense apply.
Drive carefully: drive at a reduced speed and pay close attention to pedestrians and other cars.
Park correctly: park within the designated lines so as not to occupy two spaces and obstruct passage.
Respect reserved spaces: never occupy spaces reserved for people with disabilities, electric vehicles being charged, or specific company personnel (if applicable).
- In the presence of superiors (managers, supervisors, executives)
Relationships with superiors require an even higher level of professionalism and respect.
Formalities: use a formal tone unless your manager explicitly invites you to use the informal tone (first names). Maintain professional and appropriate language.
Punctuality: always be on time for meetings and meet deadlines.
Preparation: when you have a meeting, arrive prepared. Know the topics, bring the necessary data, and be ready to answer questions.
Clear communication: be concise and get straight to the point. Listen carefully (active listening) without interrupting.
Criticism and feedback: accept constructive criticism professionally and without getting defensive.
Hierarchy: respect the chain of command. Avoid “going over” your direct boss’s head to talk to their superior, unless there are serious reasons for doing so (e.g., ethical or legal issues).
Avoid gossip: don’t complain about colleagues or other company dynamics. Maintain a positive and proactive attitude.